If you walk out on a misty midnight with no moon out of the dark you will see a nightmarishly scary figure the screeming orc. The seven meter tall orc is the scaryist creature in town. This animal has razer sharp mandeballs that can cut through solid aluminium but if your kind to this scary menace it will turn cute and cudly. But warning no matter how much they beg and no matter how much it pleads never feed it after MIDNIGHT. Obey this RULE or else the concequenses are going to be bad infact badder then bad so bad I can’t tell you.
You have used some great vocabulary, but I would like to see some more punctuation to make it easier to read. I like your description of the Orc, especially his 'razor sharp mandibles that can cut through solid aluminium' - quite an image.
ReplyDeleteHi Sol - an excellent 100wc - well done! I agree with the comment above: you've used some fantastic vocabulary, but you could do with checking over your punctuation. For example: 'you will see a nightmarishly-scary figure: the screaming orc.' Use the colon to introduce the extra information.
ReplyDeleteMr K (Team 100wc)
www.ashclass2013-14.blogspot.com
Crikey Sol, I will remember not to feed you after midnight in case you turn out to be a fiendish orc! Great story.....do you think orcs brush their mandibles? Mum
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