One day Barney the wizard was trying to remember how to make a power cut so he went to his archive of magic memories he looked under letter of every letter of the alphabet except for one letter. So he looked for his memory beginning with po... and there under his nose was his power cut spell. And this i what it said... “Suddenly the power went out...” so he cast his spell then the power out. “I did it!!” said Barney the wizard. Now this would change his life because light was his weakness and now he would always be happy.
I guess this shows how important it is to practice your spelling - imagine if the wizard couldn't spell "power cut"?
ReplyDeleteYou used lots more punctuation in this story, but some of the sentences are still quite long. Do you think you could introduce just one idea per sentence? How about "One day Barney the wizard was trying to remember how to make a power cut. He went to his archive of magic memories......" What is your weakness- peas???
Hi Sol, well done for entering the 100WC this week. I must say, yours is very different to any other that I have read today. A very original idea.
ReplyDeleteYou have used some fabulous vocabulary in your writing and this brings it alive for your readers.
You have also used a range of punctuation in your story.
Sometimes, when we are writing and are really engrossed in the actual story, we forget about the punctuation. When you finish writing, read through it and focus on accurate punctuation and edit it. If you can't identify the errors, ask a friend to read it and I'm sure that will help to make your writing even better.
Well done and keep writing. :)
thanks for the comment i will try to do that next time
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