It was April fools day. The twins mothers birthday. That day Ruby and Esme decided to play a trick on mother! So they thought until they had an idea... They were going to pretend that their dad had fallen into the lake. They went to tell their dad. “ yes” he agreed. “Ruby we can use these two sticks.” “Good idea.” said Esme. So together they stuck the sticks in the lake and put the trousers on top and then the boots and called for mum. She screamed then tried to pull him out. Just as she squeezed the trousers Dad jumped out! “You rascals!” said mother.
I'm not sure I would like an April Fool's surprise like this, let alone a birthday surprise! I liked the way that you carefully thought about how the Wellington boots would stick up in the pond.
ReplyDeletePunctuation is really useful to make sure that your reader reads the story that you intended. It also helps to make things clearer, for example the sentence 'The twins mothers birthday' it sounds like there are more than one mother rather than that the birthday 'belongs' to the mother, you can make this clear with an apostrophe like this ... 'The twins mother's birthday'
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