''Quick! Get in the car this is the wrong address, come on! The engine is busted run, run run.'' They hid in a bush that grew flowers on it. Bump He's coming Mr Skull face''. ''Look here he comes be quiet.''be quiet like a mouse and don’t make a sound."They looked at the direction that he was heading. ''Lets call Mack the miner.'' Beep beep hello hi come and pick us up Mack at 78 ghost road quickly." A couple of minutes later Mack comes in his van to pick them up and took them home.
Well done for working together on this piece of writing, Cam and Cohen. Your piece of writing starts in a very exciting way, with the two boys in a panic, which you show by your use of exclamation marks. You included lots of speech, which is common in graphic novels, so well done for that, too. I would look again at your final sentence and see if you can make that a little more exciting.
ReplyDeleteKeep on with your collaborative writing!
Mrs Ower (Team 100WC)
Costa del Sol, Spain